Category Archives: Transformers

Chariot of Iron

The image speaks for itself. Multi-tonne truck > Chariot of iron > Competitor’s deity.

 

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Optimus Prime to be Sainted

 

Blessed be the Prime

Miracles are a rare and grand event, requiring a miraculous power to intervene in otherwise normal events. The Church of Optimus Prime has received word that a person prayed to Optimus Prime and he found money on the ground at his feet. Unable to think of a different cause for his lucky find, the cause has been attributed to a holy intervention by the holy Matrix Holder himself, Optimus Prime.

A teenager in California recently suffered a cut on his hand; after praying to Optimus Prime and waiting for a response (some might say the cut may have healed naturally during this time but we know this to be nonsense) there was not a mark left on the boy’s hand. Once again this blessed event has no other explanation than Optimus Prime, our Lord and Transforming Saviour, directly imposing his will to make our lives better.

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The Word of Prime Spreads!

Gather forth, my brothers and sisters and marvel at how the Gospel of Prime spreads faster than Scraplets on a Decepticon! The catalyst for this growing flock to Optimus Prime is obviously the grand chart which proves his superiority, it now appears all over the World Wide Web.

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Religious Experience: Guitar Hero World Tour

If you happen to own Guitar Hero: World Tour then the religious hymn to Optimus Prime (The Touch, by Stan Bush) is available as a free download.  Now you can rock along while venerating the greatest deity of them all!

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Church of Optimus Prime Inqusition

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Optimus Prime vs. Jesus Christ: The Chart

As we have already concluded, the beloved Optimus Prime is greater than Jesus Christ.  His record of deeds is superior in every way, his philosophies are better to live by and his success rate is certainly.  But sometimes we simply do not have the time to read all that information so we here at the Church of Optimus Prime have made a useful chart so you can see the truth at a mere glance.

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The Matrix

All shall become one with The MatrixIt’s existence first revealed to the unworthy in 1986, the Matrix of Leadership (otherwise known as The Creation Matrix) soon shone as a cornerstone of everything that is Autobot.  But what can this miraculous and sacred artefact do?  What is it’s history? Read on if you believe you be worthy of such knowledge…

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Filed under Animation, Comedy, Optimus Prime, Religion, Transformers